Page 12 - Circle Magazine – October 2023

Force of habit
Force of habit
The Oasis Ethos is at the heart of everything we do. In each issue of Circle,
Jill Rowe, our Ethos and Formation Director, takes us through the Oasis 9 Habits. This issue: ‘Being self-controlled’
There was an error with a recent electricity bill and
so I had to call the company. Knowing I had to make that call was infuriating. There I was on the phone, hold music accompanying my waiting, occasionally interrupted by a voice announcing it may be quicker to use the online chatbot. Self-control was not winning the day. Frustration levels were rising and the longer
I was on hold, the more I prepared my speech for the poor soul who would get the brunt of my frustration.
Just as I was thinking about what my first words would be, a gentle voice at the other end said, ‘Good morning! How can I help you?’
Thank God I paused. I took a breath and somehow managed to find the way of self-control rather than being self-possessed. In that moment I decided to do the right thing – treating the person on the other end of the phone as worthy of my respect, an image bearer of the Divine. He hadn’t done me wrong. It was the system that had gone wrong. I tried to picture who I was talking to. Maybe he’d had a difficult morning too.
Listen to Jill and
Steve Chalke on our
new regular podcast, ‘Different’. Find out more: linktr.ee/oasisuk
Read more about the Oasis 9 Habits www.oasisuk.org
“Thank you for asking” – I said, “I’m fine. I hope you are too. I need your help with something today.”
Being self-controlled is not easy. But it is good, and it frees us of anger. This in turn transforms how we see those we interact with. It invites us to ‘look again’ and truly see those before us.
In Oasis, when we talk about the 9 Habits, we’re leaning on the writings of St Paul who described a
way of being human that was radical and life-bringing for all people – the way of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, tenderness, faithfulness, and self- control. The reality is that the more we seek to live this way, the more freeing it becomes.
By the way, I finished that phone-call by telling the guy I’d been speaking to that I hoped he had a good day. I meant it. He seemed to really appreciate it.
Jill Rowe
Oasis Ethos & Formation Director